A tribute to Condoleeza Rice and George W. Bush who, despite voluminious evidence to the contrary, said, "I don't think anybody could have predicted that these people would take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center, take another one and slam it into the Pentagon, that they would try to use an airplane as a missile," adding that "even in retrospect" there was "nothing" to suggest that" and "I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees," respectively.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Breaking News: Another Attack Against California Landmark Thwarted! 

Breaking News:

A plot to bring down the Golden Gate Bridge was recently thwarted by cooperating agencies of the government. Many of the details remain secret because of the continuing threat to national security, but President Bush gave credit to the highly secretive and technologically complex Terrorist Surveillance Program conducted by the National Security Agency (NSA) for exposing the plot. Bush noted that critics of the program were jeopardizing the government's efforts to secure our greatest landmarks. Additionally, the Golden Gate is vital for the flow of traffic in and out of one of great metropolitan areas of our country. He added, he still has no plans to visit San Francisco any time soon.

Despite the secrecy, some details of the plot have been leaked by traitorous insiders who feel compelled to harm our efforts in the fight against terror. The plot involved the annual Bay to Breakers race which is scheduled for May 21st. Al Queda "sleeper cells" have infiltrated many of the retailers who sell running shoes as well as volunteering to help during the upcoming race. When a runner let it be known that he/she was participating in the race, the sleeper agent would surreptitiously put a radio-controlled shoe bomb in the sneakers. When a sufficient number of runners were on the Golden Gate, the shoe-bombs would be simultaneously detonated, bringing down the bridge.

Un-American critics of the administration questioned whether this was a viable threat or just more "catapulting of the propaganda." The traitorous critics pointed to some significant flaws in the plans. First, that it was idiotic and second, the Bay to Breakers race does not cross the Golden Gate. When confronted with these "flaws," the usual apologists claimed that this criticism demoralized the troops and did irreparable harm the Bush administration's war on a tactic.

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