A tribute to Condoleeza Rice and George W. Bush who, despite voluminious evidence to the contrary, said, "I don't think anybody could have predicted that these people would take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center, take another one and slam it into the Pentagon, that they would try to use an airplane as a missile," adding that "even in retrospect" there was "nothing" to suggest that" and "I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees," respectively.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Bush's Veteran's Day Speech 

Metaphor 1: "No Buyer's Remorse"

A used car salesman convinces you that the car you're buying is in good condition. He shows you a vehicle inspection by a mechanic that shows the car is in good condition, except for he's got his thumb over the part about the cracked block and the opinion of a second mechanic that the car will be nothing but trouble. You find out that it's a lemon, the salesman knew all along the car was a dog and had purposefully placed his thumb over information that would have altered your buying decision. So, you want your money back. The salesman refuses claiming you thought it was a good deal when you made it and you saw the same "inspection" that he did.

Metaphor 2: "The Animal House Defense"

D-Day: Hey, quit your blubberin'. When I get through with this baby you won't even recognize it.

Otter: Flounder, you can't spend your whole life worrying about your mistakes! You fucked up - you trusted us! Hey, make the best of it! Maybe we can help.

Flounder: [crying] That's easy for you to say! What am I going to tell Fred?

Otter: I'll tell you what. We'll tell Fred you were doing a great job taking care of his car, but you parked it out back last night and in the morning, it was gone. We report it to the police, D-Day takes care of the wreck, the insurance company buys your brother a new car.

Flounder: Will that work?

Otter: Hey, it's gotta work better than the truth.

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