A tribute to Condoleeza Rice and George W. Bush who, despite voluminious evidence to the contrary, said, "I don't think anybody could have predicted that these people would take an airplane and slam it into the World Trade Center, take another one and slam it into the Pentagon, that they would try to use an airplane as a missile," adding that "even in retrospect" there was "nothing" to suggest that" and "I don't think anyone anticipated the breach of the levees," respectively.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005


NBC wants this to be attributed to “NBC News’ Meet the Press.” The part in black is, honest to God, what was actually said according to NBC’s transcripts.

MR. RUSSERT: Mr. Black gave you specific instructions on what he wanted you to bring home.

MR. SCHROEN: That's true. He did ask that once we got bin Laden and killed him, that we send his head back in a cardboard box on dry ice so that he could take it down and show the president.

MR. RUSSERT: Where would you find the dry ice in Afghanistan?

MR. SCHROEN: That's what I mentioned to him. I said, "Cofer, I think that I can come up with pikes to put the heads of the lieutenants on," which is the second part of what he wanted done. "Dry ice, we'll have to improvise."

MR. RUSSERT: What kind of box would you use? Perhaps one of those waxed boxes that are used for shipping broccoli?

MR. SCHROEN: Like I said, we’d have to improvise.

MR. RUSSERT: What would you use to severe the head. A bayonet? A sword? A straight edge razor? GWB’s chain saw?

MR. SCHROEN: Those details had yet to be worked out.

MR. RUSSERT: So how exactly would you ship the severed head? Military transport? U.S. Mail? FedEx? FedEx is a big Bush supporter. I’d bet they’d done it for free or at least a considerable discount.

MR. SCHROEN: Probably by courier, but you raise a good point about FedEx.

MR. RUSSERT: Do you think President Bush would have the head mounted and hung next to Saddam’s gun?

MR. SCHROEN: Really, that would be pure speculation since we shifted our resources to Iraq because they were threatening us and the region with a specter of WMD.

MR. RUSSERT: So, back to the severed head. Would you comb its hair before packing it away?

WHERE WOULD FIND DRY ICE IN AFGHANISTAN? That’s what you want to know after someone just said they were told to behead OBL and have his head sent back as a trophy to show George W. Bush? Where you’ll find the dry ice! This has got to be one of the stupidest questions I’ve ever heard uttered on a national news show.

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